I didnt make the drinks. Well, whatever it is, I wouldnt worry about it if I were you. Find out where to watch on Netflix, Prime, Hulu & 40+ others A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. Te gust Big Jay Oakerson: DOG BELLY ?, descubre pelculas del mismo gnero y temticas, pelculas como Dave Chappelle: 8:46, Mike Epps: Indiana Mike, Kyle Kinane: Trampoline In A Ditch, Rose Matafeo: Horndog, Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up,. But when somebody breaks into our house now, they discover that all of our things have been chewed up and pissed on. If it would have been a handjob, Id have been going, Hey, youre a plumber, dude, get that claw off my fucking pecker.. You ever seen a dead goose anywhere in your goddamn life? Im better at oral sex than Ive ever been and I think its just because Im older and Im just more patient than I was when I was young, because cause now Ill lay there for hours and let you do your thing. Squirrels. That aint even kind of drunk. What? !For all New peeps to my channel, plz like and Subscribe and hit that Notification bell for Future VideosWeekly Uploads! I could not possibly care any less. White I was always going to tell you if I ever met you that when my father was alive, you were his favorite comedian by far. I said, Thank you very much for telling me that, man. After his miner grandfather's death, Pancho travels with his wife and kids to his hometown, where chaos ensues with his relatives over the inheritance. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. Your Ticket Confirmation # is located under the header in your email that reads "Your Ticket Reservation Details". Is The Nurse On Netflix Based On A True Story? The motherfucker! We decided to break it up, and Vegas will make you horny if you let it. It doesnt matter what it fucking looks like. And Danny wakes up and he goes, I had a dream. I ran, um I ran for president of the United States, and I dont think I won, because nobodys called and I quit watching television. : At The Dolby' On LouisCK.com, Where The Comedian Continues To Beat Around The Offensive Bush, Stream It Or Skip It: 'Celeste Barber: Fine, Thanks' On Netflix, The Star Of 'Wellmania' Explores Her Social Anxiety, The Comics Comic Presents Last Things First, Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up, 'Jackass' Star Bam Margeras Brother Claims Hes Dying Amid Alleged Drug Addiction: There Is Nothing I Can Do About It, Egyptian Government Says Cleopatra Had "White Skin" In Response To Netflix Documentary Casting Controversy, Fans Claim 'American Idol' Judges Are "Losing All Credibility" After Being Too Soft on Contestant, Where to Watch The 2023 Met Gala: Start Time, Theme, Live Stream Info, Woody Harrelson Ignored Internet Backlash About His 'SNL' COVID Monologue: "I Don't Look at That Sh", Stream It Or Skip It: 'The Nurse' On Netflix, A Danish Drama About A New Nurse That Suspects That A Colleague Is Killing Patients, Tom Sandoval Admits to Lying About Raquel Leviss Sleepover in New 'Vanderpump Rules': "I Fully Was Going to Tell Ariana", James Corden Gets Hit by a Car While Yelling "I'm a Star" in Final 'Crosswalk the Musical'. Now I dont know if they have a color in mind when they start, or if you just bleach it and get whatever the fuck you get. I always let him think he wet the fucking bed. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Quit trimming it for a year. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. 0:46. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity rating: 15 | 1h 3m | Stand-up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Britain's most talented young bakers wow judges with cakes, biscuits, breads and more in this kid-focused spinoff of "The Great British Baking Show.". But for our purposes, as well as the inner workings of how show business actually still works or doesnt pay off for most comedians, the most telling part comes when White talks money. One, while we were building this house, my wife selected these really exotic Japanese toilets. Okay. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. But they keep hounding me till I say, Yeah, fuck it, lets go. But I didnt want her to go. JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up I may or may not be a little drunk. I got a good idea, Tommy. And Ill tell you why I didnt have a problem with it, cause I thought the number of people beating off to my image was zero. You fucking idiot. [mooing] We have a chocolate waterfall and a cotton candy machine. Two brothers trying to make it as dancers open their own club, but their artistic drive soon clashes with the business, threatening their relationship. Nobody wants to be a white asshole, but everybody wants to have one all of a sudden. White, I smell alcohol on your breath. I said, Thats been there since 77, dude. You pour that much Scotch on a tongue, its gonna smell like Scotch forever. Cause I dont care if shes a little salty. Theres nothing you can do about it. Drunk driving. [squawk] Bites me on the fucking leg. Maybe a half a sandwich and a soup. And The Comedy Store in LA is a really pretty big place. I fucking hate em. Heres what I get at three oclock in the morning when I have a six oclock flight: [whispering] Ron. A broom handle, a pool cue, a fucking plunger. Gag, woman, gag. If you tilt that a little bit, you can get it through that door. Starring:Ron White Watch all you want. [distorted] Wagyu beef taste like boot leather. He brought one to Vegas last year, and I saw her by the swimming pool in a two-piece bathing suit, and I cant jack the fucking memory out of my goddamn skull. I know it smells like piss. And before the thing started, I had my tour bus up there, Jeff and I are sitting on my tour bus and this Golden Corral commercial comes on television, which is where Jeff works now. And it turns out, theyve been snipping the pussy lips off of baby ducks in Saudi Arabia for 1,500 years and just throwing them in a river, and the cook from the Four Seasons went there and saw this amazing waste of baby duck pussy lips, and just started thinking, you know, Fuck Tacos! PETA hates it. We walk up to this booth that only sells dildos. I got to go this year for the first time in my career to do stand-up in Europe, and I did shows in Amsterdam, Edinburgh, Scotland, and London. The other day I was watching Tarzan, the new Tarzan movie. But she was well within my budget. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. His jokes are cynical, full of satire and sarcasm and that's what makes it good. Members can watch as much as they want, anytime, anywhere, on any internet-connected screen. I have a back-up plan to curtail the goose population in America. A little while back I was watching this documentary on transvestites, and they start talking about the transvestite scene thats been on Hotel Street on Oahu for 55years. Follow officers from a South Carolina sheriffs department as they urgently search for individuals who've disappeared under troubling circumstances. First big gig we did together was the first week in December 1996 at the MGM Grand in Vegas. Ron White: If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up | Stand-up Special Trailer [HD] | Netflix Netflix 25.4M subscribers 118K views 4 years ago Fully-functioning organs are not necessary. And we go out that night, it was one of the funnest nights of my life, uh We had been friends for ten years, so we were young comics together, and thats whatwe used to talk about as young comics. Now Im not saying Ive never driven drunk, because Ive drank so much in my life, now on the back of my drivers license, theres a list of organs I need. Baby goose pussy lips makes wagyu beef taste like boot leather. So I dont have go out and party money. I dont know if it just looks tired or sad, or worried about something it cant do anything about. He also tweets@thecomicscomicand podcasts half-hour episodes with comedians revealing origin stories:The Comics Comic Presents Last Things First. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Its just the words they say, whatever the fuck they say just cracks me the fuck up. Thats what happened to that plane Sully landed on the Hudson River. We keep hearing more comedians tell stories about the comedy business. And I am an idea man, too. I guarantee you, when I leave the house, my wifes not dragging out a headshot, rubbing one off You look more like Steve Bannon every day. My wife does yoga, and next to her yoga school in Beverly Hills, theres a spa that offers treatments that Ive never heard of. Thats all Im saying. And not because if somebody was breaking into our house, they would make a bunch of noise and scare those people away, because you couldnt possibly wake them up. Sure, Larry the Cable Guy is the definitive character act in the group headed by Jeff Foxworthy with Bill Engvall. 1,802, This story has been shared 1,410 times. Im in the road! Does a Z-pattern to get across. It's Me, Margaret' Streaming on HBO Max or Netflix? Ill get some money. Youre just fucking just Some red lipstick on that nose, this would be hot as fuck. Im not gay. If you can beat me at darts, you can take me to fucking jail, how about that? 7:31. No, you fucking didnt. A goose is the only animal on the planet could take a jetliner out of the fucking sky and make it land on the Hudson River. Besides, if youre at that point in a make-out session, youre gonna do it anyway. the press, a -- top -- as well as the family of evan gershkovich which -- while it is a star studded, lighthearted evening, there is that backdrop of serious issues going on. Ladies, if you dont like the way the cooch is looking, before you go do something that extreme, try this. Not plump girls, not fat girls. After his miner grandfather's death, Pancho travels with his wife and kids to his hometown, where chaos ensues with his relatives over the inheritance. Well, Ive been here, but Ive never been here, and if I only Dead. For Whites part, he revisits a story he once told on SiriusXM a few years ago during the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival, which is about the week he opened for another comedian at the Punchline in Sacramento. Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Just getting her done, and He wasnt there, but the three of us were. [high-pitched] Thats all. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up opens with soundbites from White's previous specials, then we see him onstage, in a crisp suit, revealing to his fans how fame and . A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. I do. Bain de Soleil sunless tanning lotion for dark skin only, and apparently I was getting down, cause it was on my nipples and the inside of my thigh. Okay. And Im driving, and I look ahead, and theres a sobriety checkpoint and Im like Fuck Which is what you say when you see a sobriety checkpoint. More for how they dont have to deal with marriage. Im like, Theyre gonna know. Theyre going to fucking know. From the big lip to the little lip, right over the clit, tuck in the meat curtains if you got em. After Id been there for a little while, I found out there was one part of Hotel Street on Oahu that you go to, and these really cute girls that jump in your car and blow you for five dollars. We dont even want it. The image is an example of a ticket confirmation email that AMC sent you when you purchased your ticket. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. Sign in to rate and Watchlist for personalized recommendations. And three hours after I met this chick, Im laying on my back going, [tightly] This bitch is crazy. And I was right. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Dont drink and drive. And I was so goddamn mad. I just never have. Do not try that at home. Theyre watchdogs. I could piss like a fucking fire hydrant. And I was there with a woman I couldnt stand eventually. It was about three years ago, and there were six comics in an open forum, telling stories, and this is the story that I told. This is, uh This is brilliant. I only have the room key. And You Might Be A Redneck had been the number one-selling comedy album in the country for a year and a half. Now, I think its a little strange that vaginal rejuvenation is fine, yet its illegal to roll back the odometer on your car. Thats his deal. I have no idea what Id do if I walked out and somebody was there, Id be like [yawning] [click] Oh, hey. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! RON WHITE: IF YOU QUIT LISTENING, I'LL SHUT UP (2018) - FULL TRANSCRIPT October 19, 2018 Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Cause there aint no goddamn women there. Lukas Matsson's Tweet Explained. I didnt lose my virginity until I was 18 years old, and I was in the Navy stationed in San Diego, and I lost my virginity to a prostitute in Tijuana, Mexico, who was overweight,and her teeth had no general direction or color. 'Succession' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: "Living+", 'Succession': Tom and Shiv's "Bitey" Game is the Horniest, Most Effed Up Thing Theyve Done Yet. Thats what I do. But White, with a cigar in his hand and a tall glass of tequila always filled on the stool by his side onstage (a tequila brand he sells on his website, btw), remains the real character. Jesus. By opting to have your ticket verified for this movie, you are allowing us to check the email address associated with your Rotten Tomatoes account against an email address associated with a Fandango ticket purchase for the same movie. Numan1235cansunar2234comtr. the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. I thought about being gay one time, and I changed my mind when it came my turn. [whistling] Im on break. By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and
Thats why. CatherineBridget86886758. Cause were looking for a gag gift, and if that doesnt gag her, I dont know what were going to use, cause its gotta be something big, you tell me. And it really reminded Jeff and I of how much fun we have on stage together and how much we like to play off each other. [bleating] I cant wait till they go hog-wild and just put a sugar lick right there in the middle of the fucking room. Theyre not natural. Now Ive got questions. Another service they offer at this spa is a thing called vaginal rejuvenation. He didnt say that. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. Thats something we dreamed about and it fucking happened. What? Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. Im the watchdog at our house. Always has been. You know, they do that now. You got to quit eating them babies, maam. Reunited as adults, two childhood friends fall madly in love and won't let anything not even death tear them apart, in this supernatural love story. Thats all. And I double snotted my own fucking television. Go behind the scenes of Netflix TV shows and movies, see what's coming soon and watch bonus videos on, Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Teaser), Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Trailer). Just laying there dead, cause it died somewhere? Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Im not busting on women from the Middle East. What? But I took her to Vegas. In the summer, I keep a bowl of limes right next to the salt shaker, and Ill just get a lime, squirt a little lime juice in there, little bit of salt, hunker down, do some pussy shots. Well, Bills doing one show at the big Forum down at Caesars, and were doing three shows a night in a smaller room. Nobody would give a shit. I wouldnt do it. '", Ana Navarro Jokes About Sara Haines' White House Correspondents' Dinner Antics on 'The View': "Maybe There Will Be a Restraining Order", Sunny Hostin Opens Up About Receiving Hurtful Emails on The View: Im Not Liked By Half The Country, Sunny Hostin Shades Meghan McCain for Scathing Column About 'The View': "Our Show Is a Wonderful Place". Just lunch. Thats how much money Ive got. How much is the personal massager shaped like a big black cock? Watch trailers & learn more. So unhappy, theyre willing to bleach it until it becomes a more desirable color. We go back to OLearys Pub where this whole fucking thing started. Its a nickel for a hundred of em. You cant fix stupid. No other fucking animal does this. Thats all. You know, the fame and fortune and all that? And I said, I dont think so, but I kept thinking about it, and I realized its changed me in two ways. The way they cross the street right in front of fucking cars with that weird-ass confidence. Sorry. Leaves me shudder-crying. Now, when I have seven eighths of a gram of marijuana, I consider myself to be out of marijuana. So we walk up to Knob Cobblers, or whatever the fuck the name of it was. In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. That aint drunk at all. Based in NYC but will travel anywhere for the scoop: Ice cream or news. It was so fucking funny. Or any. Thats it for tonight. I need to get her a gag gift. Now I live in Beverly Hills in a house my wife and I just built, and I was doing an interview the other day, and this guy asked me, Has it changed you? Downloads only available on ad-free plans. Tasted strong. All right. And I did these shows in London, and they dont play my stuff on television in London. I got like 20 tweets from one guy, going, My wifes pussy was burning like No, you didnt. And nobody wants our shit anymore. 1,216, Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window), Does 'Yellowstone' Return Tonight? Thats why. And we should be afraid of geese too, and Ill tell you why. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 Directed by Tom Forrest Synopsis Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. [cheering and applause] When Jeff got big enough to take somebody with him, he took me with him, which was an amazingly gracious thing for Jeff to do for me. lindsey? Or if theres some paint chips and a tray of Smile Bright. Privacy Policy What they do is they take these baby ducks, and they just snip the pussy lips off of em, and it takes, like, 35 baby ducks to make one taco, but it is fucking worth it, man. Ill tell you this story. Just confirm how you got your ticket. I gotta go. Im coming back twice a day every fucking day. Geese started flying through the engines of that jet. Profane. Thats what kind of person I am right there, 12 years old. In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. 2,003, This story has been shared 1,911 times. [sobbing] I had nightmares about it my entire goddamn childhood. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Come on down to the Golden Corral. They all look like fucking tents. Hes still having too much fun. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: 16+ | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Ron White-Radical Terrorist Canadian Geese Reaction: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 17,559 views Oct 4, 2020 138 Dislike Bad Badger 902 subscribers Mom reacts to the radical. Viagra. Just below that it reads "Ticket Confirmation#:" followed by a 10-digit number. 20,592, This story has been shared 13,103 times. Theres an opening act, that makes between 100 and 200 a week for nine shows, the feature act which is what I was makes between 400 and 500 bucks for nine shows, and a headliner who can make absolutely anything depending upon who they are.. I told him, Dont you goddamn do it. I was 12. Ahh! Dont worry about them. [whooping] Um The other day, um Jeff Jeff Foxworthy and I were Jeff has a special on Sirius called The Comics Mind, and hed been talking to me about doing it. My fucking life is over. No, no, White proudly proclaims on his fifth stand-up comedy special, and first for Netflix, that at 61, hes a raging alcoholic.. You know what a fair drunk driving test is? It seemed like they would give you a sack or something. Somebody was peeing on me! Any ideas? Anyway, it gets to be 5:30 in the morning. Filming Locations for the Disney+ Movie, Alexander Molony Is the Perfect Blend of Charming and Naive in Disney+s Peter Pan & Wendy, What Does "Doderick Macht Frei" on 'Succession' Mean? our special coverage of the white house correspondents dinner starts right now neck . I go, I know its our first night in town but Im gonna go drinking with the boys, and she goes, [slurring] Fine, just leave me in a hotel room by myself? Im like, Youre starting to get it.. Ill show you dick.. I fucking hate geese. But on the way, they must confront what it means to be different. I was doing a meet and greet the other day right after a show, this young guy goes, When my girlfriend comes back from vacation with her parents, Im going to ask her to marry me. And we decided on a date that we would do it, and we decided to do it from the Punchline here in Atlanta in front of a live crowd, and it was really fun. Coming Soon. They just like to watch. I was leaving a party the other night, and this buddy of mine goes, Hey, Ron, can you drive? I was like, I can drive I cant get pulled over.. It all smells like piss, dude. Just his torso, blood coming out of it and just Chris Hemsworth kind of I dont want to pinch his nipples or anything. The newest one thats not very new, but its the newest one. And that was the first timeall three of us had our names on big signs in Vegas, and we went outside to look at it, and I was like, Fuck, now what? Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Its very short. Thats all you need. [silly voice] Just lunch and a blowjob! Lady in the first show goes, Whats in it for the woman? Im like, Lunch. [high-pitched] Its just lunch. She goes, Listen, Ron. Eat this baby goose pussy lip taco., Back in 1996, my dear friend Jeff Foxworthy became the biggest comedian that ever lived. Big old round uns, big old muumuu and 400-plus, great big old big uns. Is 'Are You There God? 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